Dustin Clingman, Zeitgeist

Problem statement

To a large extent, video gaming is divorced from the culture of courtship and dating, when integrating the two would be of benefit to making gaming more broadly socially acceptable. What are the issues that prevent this, how can they be addressed, and are there solutions either in place or that need to be created that can facilitate the process?

Solution

The discussion broke down into several areas:

• Why is gaming as it currently stands not conducive to dating, specifically first dating?
• Given those issues, what factors would make gaming more dating-friendly, and what projects or approaches would potentially provide solutions?
• What is currently out there that is gaming friendly, and why does it work?

Our focus was to assess, illuminate, and describe the problem. We concentrated primarily on the interaction of gaming and courtship in the US/western market, targeting specifically first dates. We avoided extended discussion of games that are explicitly intended to be dating facilitators (i.e. Korean dating sims) or the dating aspects of MMOs (which already indicate pre-existing compatibility).

Among the core reasons that gaming as it stands in the US is not necessarily dating-friendly were:

• Lack of public gaming space and the death of American arcade spaces
• The growth of “lad” culture, complete with crude sexist and homophobic attitudes
• The trend in multiplayer gaming toward competitive/dominance style play and associated behaviors
• High barriers to entry and “casualness” to video game play
• Hardcore/geek-heavy-awkward content that is off-putting in a date situation (cf. “naked stormtroopers in a hot tub”)
• Additional factors, including:
• Lack of public space means playing at someone’s home, which adds pressure to the situation
• First dates are “about whether you’re willing to be seen in public with this person”
• The public gaming spaces that are there – Dave and Busters, etc. – are predicated on group experience
• Lack of opportunities to “display”
• Potential to embarrass yourself/not to excel in front of a date is threatening.
• Direction of attention to the screen, not the other person
• Lack of physical proximity/touching (hands on the controller)

By contrast, a movie is non-threatening, passive, easy to access, and generally in a public space with physical proximity (cf. “The yawn”).

That being said, there are some successful games and game-related scenarios that do or have encouraged dating.

• Arcade culture
• Video arcades provided a public gaming space
• The standup machine (or bar table machine) provided an opportunity for the display of skill
• It emphasized close physical contact, and with the player (usually male) focused on the screen, it allowed the other participant (often female) to determine the extent and duration of contact.
• “Display” games (not quite party games)
• Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Scene It/Wii Sports/Dance Dance Revolution
• These show off the players’ skill outside of the game & attach the performance to the individual
• Innately “social” gameplay
• Mechanics like “rescue” allow players to expertise & help one another
• Potentially related to the male desire for appreciation & the female desire for security
• All have fantasies accessible to both genders and low barriers to entry
• Dedicated gaming time & place
• Example of the San Francisco bar with “Gaming Night”
• Atari 2600 games for public play
• Allows gamers to show off their skills and prospective dates to “shop”

Looking at the issues, and at the elements out there that are already successful, or unsuccessful, what then would be potentially profitable approaches to the problem?

• Considering what each party would want out of a gaming/dating situation
• Avoiding actively competitive situations
• Looking for opportunities to “rescue” or “take care of” the other player
• Discovery, sharing, and gifting gameplay
• Demonstration of personality through gameplay and related behaviors, and the facilitation of exploration of the other person
• The ability to show off skill and/or knowledge
• A safe space – in game and out – for the encounter
• Certain behaviors to avoid
• Competition & dominance
• “Lad” behavior
• Over-enthusiastic attempts to impress, i.e. “geeking the chick”
• Hogging the controller
• Looking to gameplay that can potentially provide what is desired
• Co-operative and collaborative gameplay trumps competitive behavior
• Gameplay that does not have the possibility for failure or looking bad
• Gameplay where you build something together
• cf. Little Big Planet
• Gameplay that provides a collaboratively created souvenir
• Image
• Piece of music
• Record of gameplay – all are possibilities

Further exploration is, of course, required. Note that we expect this report to be a living document, and to explore approaches to the material which may suggest themselves from later conversation, data collection, or experimentation.

Action item list

Expanded Problem Statement

The primary question driving this group was a simple one: why isn’t video gaming a reasonable or acceptable date – or at least, not a first one. The question was originally raised when one group member spotted a young couple at a showing of The Aristocrats, starry-eyed and telling each other how wonderful it was that they were seeing this. Now, if attending The Aristocrats, widely regarded as the filthiest, most scatological film ever made, can be seen as a valid date choice, why can’t gaming (defined for the purposes of this discussion strictly as video gaming; card, board, and classical RPG games offer different challenges that exist outside the bounds of this discussion) be viewed in the same vein?

In other words, while it’s easy to joke about “how can gaming get me dates”, that’s the exact inverse of the problem we’re trying to examine. Rather than ask how gaming can get someone dates, we’re more interested in an ongoing investigation of what about gaming – be it perception, culture, or reality – places it outside of that discussion.

That is the start point of the investigation: why is gaming outside of what can be reasonably described as courtship behavior. Beyond that, we want to drill down further, into whether there are effective means of incorporating gaming into the dating ritual, how those work, and what elements can be abstracted from that. Eventually, we would like to see whether they can be synthesized into game design approaches for concepts that would be “dating-friendly”, or perhaps games specifically designed as dating activities.

Whether or not we do find specific, quantifiable answers – or even reasonably accurate trends – is, in the opinion of the group, of secondary importance. What does matter is that the question is being raised, appraised, and approached from different directions. Our most important task is to raise the issue, which appears to have languished, for debate and discussion. It is our sincere hope, obviously, that we will find at least some answers, and that game design-driven responses can be formulated to the problem we are examining. To this, we will be bending our best efforts. But if not us, then others will undoubtedly raise the question, and with luck find their own answers to share with the community.

Expanded Solution Description

It is understood by the group that a much broader data and experiential sample will be required to get any meaningful information for discussion. At this point, we are limited to the anecdotal, and bounded by the composition and experience of our workgroup. With that in mind, the solutions we are working on are fragmentary, and pending further researches.

section 8

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